What Ever Happened to the Dining Room?

What Ever Happened to the Dining Room?

Are you a Downton Abbey fan?  If so, no doubt you have noticed how the dining room plays a key role in that fictional family’s interactions?  A family matter, social events, news items of the day, and even family upheaval is all played out around the dining table. True, this was not the “average” home.  But, even though this is highly glamorized, we see something there that has all but disappeared in many homes today; eating the evening meal together and talking.  So, it begs the question; what ever happened to the dining room?  Does it really matter? Let me give you an example to show why I think it does.

One day my brother and I were talking about our youth.  When I would bring up an event that was memorable to me, he didn’t even remember it!  The same was true for him, and my not remembering certain things that he recalled.  It’s like we didn’t even live in the same home!  Why is it that we have such difficulty recalling family events, or details of our younger years?  Did some alien come and abduct us and erase the memories of our young innocent life, in an attempt to take over the world?

My wife, on the other hand, can recall her youth in Technicolor, with vivid detail, although some stories have been embellished over the years.  I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that women are better communicators than men, when it comes to chronicling the days and events with micro-analytical detail.

Why can she remember her youth so well?  And then it came to me!  I began to realize how important the dining room was to her family.  They ALWAYS ate supper together.  And it was at this “mini-Downton Abbey” dining room table that her family would discuss the day’s activities.  They would laugh and retell stories, over and over again.  And those stories would then be remembered, not for a few months, or years, but for a lifetime.  I, on the other hand, usually had supper on a TV tray in the living room.  No conversation, and no family stories retold, hence they were forgotten.

Apparently, the IDEA of having a dining room, is still appealing to many, since the U.S. Census reported that prior to 1960, 46.9 percent of new homes built had a dining room, compared to 50.6 percent of new homes built between 2005 and 2009. One person speculated: “I think people still like the idea of a separate dining room because of idyllic visions of …big family gatherings”. But, the reality is that the gatherings around the dining table seldom take place.

One possible reason for this was expressed this way: “I honestly remember the dining room of my home being a cold place, stilted, stuffy, and a little foreboding. This was so unlike the rest of our happy home that it was almost scary.”  This suggests that some people may have a “formal dining room” that may repel, rather than invite.  The word “formal” may actually be code for; “this room is only used when we have very important guests for dinner. We will eat with the fine china, the polished silver, and you will remember which fork to use for your salad.  What’s more, everyone (and I mean everyone), will be on their best behavior!”  Wow, that sounds inviting!  Indigestion, here we come!

So, how can we translate the idea of a family dining room into a reality?   Why not make it a room that is enjoyable?  Perhaps including family pictures, or some favorite family momentos? Things that stir pleasant memories and that makes the room a place that the family wants to be.  Finally, comfortable and attractive furnishings that capture your personality will contribute to meals that are a special part of your family’s day.  Our Ambrose Hilliard dining room, or the Cherry Lane dining rooms are both very inviting collections.

Whether you are a Downton Abbey fan or not, everyone benefits from enjoying a family dining room and eating their meals together, as best as their schedule will allow.  Best of all, you will not forget your family stories for years to come.